We’re in our 30s
But we carry the reality of childhoods
And live like confident 21 year olds
I still define myself by things that went down in the 5th grade, when I was 17, 22, and 30
It’s like I’m not an adult
I’m still an anxious and uncomfortable tween
I’m not suicidal or nearly uncomfortable as I once was
It still feels as though agency and the trappings that come with it are just outside my grasp.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
Life is hard
Being an adult is completely arbitrary.
Are you a being or not?
If you are, then the choice is yours
Choice builds momentum of circumstance.
There will always be circumstance.
Mourn it doesn’t matter
My god, act.